This morning we left at 7:30 to go to Oranienburg. There we met with a Protestant pastor who told us about the history of the town. We were told that some time ago, though I don’t remember exactly when, a princess from the Netherlands married a Brandenburg aristocrat, and he gave her the town, which was renamed Oranienburg after her family, the House of Orange. She was tolerant and progressive. A Jewish family lived in the house just next to the castle. Also, a church needed to be built, and though she was Calvinist, she said they should build a Reform Church because most people were Protestant Reform. Seems like she was pretty cool.
The pastor took us and showed us his church, and told us more about town history, which helped to put Sachsenhausen into the perspective of the history of the town.
Then we took a tour of Sachsenhausen concentration camp. More students came, but were asked not to interact with us until we left the concentration camp. Of course Sachsenhausen was difficult. I didn’t have much of an emotional reaction until I was looking at an exhibit in a rebuilt part of one of the barracks. There were some pictures and oral histories visitors could listen to through headsets on the wall. I listened to a story about a philosophy professor who would lecture on philosophy when they were forced to stand for hours on end. The witness who was speaking said that some of the listeners hadn’t been to grade school, but they learned something about philosophy and forgot where they were for a while. And when that professor saw the most brutal SS officer jeering and whipping with an ox whip some prisoners who were trying to take another prisoner who was almost dead to the infirmary, he went to the officer and said, “How can you behave that way? Aren’t you ashamed? Aren’t you a human being?” Then he was beaten to death.
That got to me. Then, on the way out, there is a spot with paper and pencils, where visitors may write notes and put them in plastic windows for others to see. One, which looked like it had probably been written by a teenager whose English wasn’t so great, said, “Ich finde es einfach nur erschrecken was hier damals passiert ist! [To me it is just frightening what happened here] Sorry at all people.” Now clearly the English isn’t so great, and I can’t be sure whether this person meant “sorry to” or “sorry for”—I tend to believe the former, and the combination of that and the story really got to me.
As we walked from the exhibit to the memorial, Ron, the rabbi who organized the US side of the trip, said we were going to do a short memorial service, and would I say a few words—just whatever came to mind. I agreed, though I was feeling very emotional. At the memorial, one of the group led the 23rd Psalm, then I spoke. I said something like, “My heart is full right now. Though this is the third concentration camp I’ve visited, it’s the first I’ve visited as a Jew. One thing I teach all the time as a rabbi is that what’s important is to struggle with difficult questions and problems. It’s okay if we don’t find the answer, if we never find the answer, or if the answer changes at different times in our lives. What’s important is that we keep asking the questions and keep struggling.” Then I switched to German (the students were there too), and said, “As a woman whose mother was German, and whose German Christian relatives form a large part of her family, I also have to struggle with the history of this place from that side too. What’s important is that we are all here and we are sharing the struggle.” I can’t remember exactly what I said—I might have said it better (or worse), but that’s close. Another rabbi, Michael, also spoke, then we did El Malei Rachamim and the Mourner’s Kaddish.
When we first walked into the camp there was a sign near the fence, in the so-called neutral zone, warning prisoners that if they stepped there they would be shot without warning. When we were walking toward the memorial before our short service, Jeff told me that his reaction to the camp was that he felt strongly that he needed to stand in that neutral space, if only to prove to himself that he wouldn’t be shot. After the memorial service, we walked out separately, and in the parking lot I asked him if he had done it. He said no, since we went out a different way, and it was all the way on the other side. It looked to me like we had a little time, so I told him to go back in and do it. He demurred. I asked Dagmar, our leader, if we had some time to go back in for a minute. She agreed that we could take the second bus to the lunch (the bus had to make two trips), giving us about 15 minutes. So we went back in, and Jeff did what he needed to do. I was so glad to be able to help him do it. I think it’s so important, in a place like that, if you feel like there’s something you have to do, to do it. You take away enough bad feelings without also having regret for something you felt you needed to help you deal with the place.
Once we did leave, we went to have lunch with the students. Kosher lunch. Same airline food as yesterday—I’m talking the same entrée, even. Enough said.
Again, great discussions with these students. This time I sat with all girls, and delightful ones they were, too. I had seen a couple of them getting a little emotional at Sachsenhausen, so I made a point of telling them that I understood that it is difficult to confront this history that is part of the past of their families and their nation, and that it takes strength and courage to do so. I said that I recognize how hard it is and that I think it’s really great that they’re taking it on and struggling with it, because that’s important to do, and that it’s hard, but they are OK—it wasn’t them that did it. One young woman in particular seemed to appreciate that. (And a special shout out to Rabbi Tom Weiner for teaching me how important it is to recognize and acknowledge when people are doing something that is really hard, and to honor them for it.)
Tomorrow we go to the schools. The school I’m assigned to visit is the one that the girls I was talking with today attend. I’m looking forward to it. I also might be on their radio station (I don’t know if it’s anything beyond the school itself) because radio production is one of their extracurricular activities.
We were free for dinner and the evening, and Jeff and I went out to dinner together. I wanted to get an echt Deutsches Essen (a real German meal), and we were sent to a place called Austria, in the Kreuzberg section of Berlin. Jeff had a Wiener Schnitzel that was the size of his plate, and I have a photo to prove it. I had beef stuffed with herbs. Both were excellent.
Afterward Jeff wanted to go to a casino, so we went to one at Potsdamer Platz, where I watched him lose $200 at blackjack in about 20 minutes. I decided that my first time playing in a casino should be a casino where it's all in English. All in all, we had a great time, and I like him so much. It’s so rare to encounter someone I make such a quick and strong connection with, and I always feel so lucky when it happens. I’m glad he doesn’t live too far away, because this is a friendship I really want to keep. And he feels the same way, which is even nicer. I think Mike will like him too, and Jeff thinks I will like his wife. Of course we think our kids will like each other.
Now—call the family and quickly go to bed!
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